Nintendo To Announce Concrete Date Of Announcement Of Date.

   08/03/2006 at 09:26       Michael Stephenson       5 COMMENTS.
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Speculation was spectacularly speculated earlier today that Nintendo (affectionately referred to as "The Big N" within the industry) were about to announce the concrete date of yet another official announcement.
Which would be an announcement of something possibly happening in the near future. Maybe. Perhaps.

Or something.

"I'm not promising anything," said an official spokesman (who wished to remain anonymous), "but a nod's as good as a wink that we will be announcing something on or around the 14th." When pressed for further information there was nothing more forthcoming than a: "perhaps the week after. Can you get out of my way?"

Even industry analysts were left scratching their heads with the reaction to this, as around the globe fans of Nintendo were found queuing outside their local games stores. When questioned about this, Dave "Takana" Fishbourne - of Southend, UK - replied, "Well, it's Nintendo, isn't it? Bound to rock. Whatever it is." In most cases pointing out that it isn't actually physically possible to buy an "announcement" - concrete or not - was often returned with a look of complete bemusement.

"You have to understand," begins Rodney Flabergasterblast of specialist gaming watchdogs EA (Entertainment Analysts), "that the psyche of the average Nintendophile is particularly fragile at the moment. Their hero has taken quite a hammering in the marketplace recently. Any glimmer of a return to form will be greeted with a fervour the likes of which we ain't seen since that last big Japanese RPG that was released the other day. I forget what it's called. Dragon Fantasy or something."

"Look, we're not trying to steal anyone's thunder or anything," whooped a non-official (but quite concrete) spokesman for one of Nintendo's leading competitors (who wished his whole company to remain anonymous), "but I'd say we'd have an even bigger announcement to make pretty soon. Yeah."

Rumours that this was accompanied with a tap to the nose were entirely founded.

When questioned whether this announcement of their own would come before Nintendo's, the competitor's spokesman hollered something along the lines of "hell, yeah," before rather sheepishly asking when Nintendo said they were going to announce something.

In the time it took to write this article the dates of both announcements have since slipped to sometime in the "near future", though this hasn't stopped Sony announcing a hastily prepared press conference later today to respond to "allegations that their announcements of dates of official announcements aren't quite as exciting as they used to be".

Rumours that Ken Kutagari's entrance will involve a motorbike and a hoop of flame are entirely plausible.

More on this breaking story as and when any hospitalisation occurs.


The owners of this site apologise profusely for any offence, but then they did give Stevas permission to write this sort of shit. They really did. The idiots.
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