And the award for "Stating the bleedin' obvious" goes to...


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Roobs
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...the nursing lecturers at the university that I work at.

I was given a Powerpoint presentation for lecturing students on expectant mothers to print off and this was on one of the slides:

Ten Tips for Staying Healthy

1. Don't be poor. If you can, stop. If you can't, try not to be poor for long.

2. Don't have poor parents.

3. Own a car.

4. Don't work in a stressful, low paid manual job.

5. Don't live in damp, low quality housing.

6. Be able to afford to go on a foreign holiday and sunbathe.

7. Practice not losing your job and don't become unemployed.

8. Take up all benefits you are entitled to, if you are unemployed, retired or sick or disabled.

9. Don't live next to a busy major road or near a polluting factory.

10. Learn how to fill in the complex housing benefit/asylum application forms before you become homeless and destitute.

Yes, this is for real and no, I haven't made any of this up and it's definitely not a joke.

/slow claps
#1 at 15:44:30 - 19/04/2007
Tiger_Walts
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Was Chris Morris giving the lecture?

Or was it some GMTV cast-off?
#2 at 15:48:30 - 19/04/2007
Stevas
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I'm going to call my bank manager and tell him I want to stop being poor; hopefully there's something he can do about this, frankly, unsavoury state of affairs.
#3 at 15:49:55 - 19/04/2007
reality_cheque
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Awesome :D

I repeatedly fail at 1. I sort it out, then go back again. Good job I'm not an expectant mother!
#4 at 15:51:32 - 19/04/2007
peej
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Loving number 10.

I guess the number 11 they missed off the list was "Gain a degree in bullshitspeak so you can comply with number 10"

Peej
#5 at 15:55:41 - 19/04/2007
Roobs
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Innit, it's amazing the discoveries you can make when doing a PhD and then pass on your wisdom.

I also recently had to do a poster for a psychology professor on an experiment that he did to do with the smell of lemons can make you drive better. And what did he use to do the experiment? Colin McCrae's Rally on the Playstation.
#6 at 16:26:05 - 19/04/2007
peej
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Roobs said:Innit, it's amazing the discoveries you can make when doing a PhD and then pass on your wisdom.

I also recently had to do a poster for a psychology professor on an experiment that he did to do with the smell of lemons can make you drive better. And what did he use to do the experiment? Colin McCrae's Rally on the Playstation.


Re-heheheheallly?

/goes lemon shopping

/is shit at CMR

Peej
#7 at 16:31:03 - 19/04/2007
Alastair
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peej said:Loving number 10.



My fave is number 7.
How does one practice not losing one's job?
#8 at 16:39:32 - 19/04/2007
eviltobz
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Alastair said:
peej said:Loving number 10.



My fave is number 7.
How does one practice not losing one's job?

have a job
go to work
spend day there, doing the right sort of stuff
come home
don't be sacked

easy. i've been not losing my job here for like 6 years now :(
#9 at 17:59:47 - 19/04/2007
essential
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Kinda feel that the 'author' of that was surely being ironic / sarcastic and stating the bleedin obvious, so showing how your social class etc effects your health, no?
#10 at 18:13:57 - 19/04/2007
Alastair
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eviltobz said:
Alastair said:
peej said:Loving number 10.



My fave is number 7.
How does one practice not losing one's job?

have a job
go to work
spend day there, doing the right sort of stuff
come home
don't be sacked

easy. i've been not losing my job here for like 6 years now :(


Cool, I seem to have been getting it right too. I suddenly feel healthier.
#11 at 18:17:35 - 19/04/2007
duncan
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Not sure I agree with the not losing your job thing.....

The two times I've lost a job I've ended up better off than before.

Personally this seems like a recipe for getting stuck in the rat race which definitely isn't good for your health.
#12 at 06:32:00 - 20/04/2007
MetalDog
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It does read like social commentary, rather than real advice. What did they say about it?
#13 at 09:02:41 - 20/04/2007
reality_cheque
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duncan said:Not sure I agree with the not losing your job thing.....

The two times I've lost a job I've ended up better off than before.

You're not an expectant mother who'll want some maternity leave :P

Well, I'm guessing not anyway.
#14 at 11:18:48 - 20/04/2007
Roobs
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MetalDog said:It does read like social commentary, rather than real advice. What did they say about it?


No idea. It was one of those things that got lumped on me to upload onto a lecturer's intranet site, so I'm not sure if it's without any irony or not. I just wanted to share the initial disbelief that I felt when I first read it. :) The fact is though, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it was real advice, given the amount of twaddle that some of the academics here produce.
#15 at 11:59:32 - 20/04/2007

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