The "f*cked up dreams" thread


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peej
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Random seems as good a category as any. We haven't got one of these here yet so here's a chance to air your best recent dreams and nightmares.

Last night's was pretty weird. I dreamed that a mate of mine was going out with Lily Allen, and brought her round to introduce her to me and a bunch of others. We decided we'd all chill out in front of the TV watching some shitty film...

Anyway to cut to the chase, she decided that she was going to hike up her skirt and start grinding away on me, in front of my friends and in front of the bloke she was supposed to be dating...

(this bit edited for taste)

Later on, no matter what I did or how I tried to explain that it wasn't my fault, no one would talk to me. (unsurprisingly really, I mean it takes two to tango n'all that).

What have I learned from this dream? Never ever eat cheese before bedtime.

Peej
#1 at 10:39:45 - 30/01/2007
Stickman
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peej said:
...Lily Allen...hike up her skirt and start grinding away on me...
Peej


Dream? Nightmare? You decide.
#2 at 10:41:35 - 30/01/2007
boabg
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I've not had any belters recently but I have been dreaming about games quite a lot. Taking a trip around the FFX sphere grid last night for instance.
#3 at 10:42:02 - 30/01/2007
Stevas
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A few nights ago I dreamed that the entire population of the world were all over-sized confectionary snacks. I myself was a giant mars bar.

Anyway, I was going to this do, and I eventually decided on wearing my limited edition dark chocolate wrapper.

When I got there there was another mars bar wearing the same thing.

I was mortified.
#4 at 10:46:36 - 30/01/2007
Rhythm
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Stevas said:
When I got there there was another mars bar wearing the same thing.

I was mortified.


ROFL!!!!!
#5 at 10:49:04 - 30/01/2007
Roobs
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Thanks to your Tokyo Bus Guide 2 banner, Peej, the other night I dreamt that the grumpy old bloke from On the Buses (the one on the left on the banner) was one of my bridesmaids. :o
#6 at 10:51:38 - 30/01/2007
Legion
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I still keep dreaming that my teeth are falling out.

Which is crap because it still means I'm scared of death.

It's not like that's the main bit of my dreams either, it's a random theme that crops up/interfers with other normal dreams (is there such a thing?).

For example, I could be dreaming that I'm a penguin trying to save all of the polar bears from an alien invasion and suddenly I'll have teeth sticking out of my beak, only to find that they're loose, and are in fact are falling out. It's at this point I get scared and realise that I'm dreaming and generally wake up.


#7 at 11:08:26 - 30/01/2007
Stevas
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Why do dreams have to be so bloody vague, eh?

Patient: "I had a dream the other night that I was falling, but when I hit the ground I went straight through it and flew out of a big nose."

Head doc: "You're afraid of commitment. And the nose signifies a deep-rooted hatred of your father."

The fuck?

Eh? Why can't the guy just be afraid of fucking falling, eh? Or being... blown out of a big nose... maybe... I mean... eh?

In other words: why can't you just be afraid of your teeth falling the hell out?

/Doesn't get it
#8 at 11:13:51 - 30/01/2007
Tiger_Walts
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Stevas said:A few nights ago I dreamed that the entire population of the world were all over-sized confectionary snacks. I myself was a giant mars bar.

Anyway, I was going to this do, and I eventually decided on wearing my limited edition dark chocolate wrapper.

When I got there there was another mars bar wearing the same thing.

I was mortified.

Yeah, but maybe theirs was a cheap import wrapper. Was the ingredients list in arabic, did the barcode not start with a 5?


A had a dream the other week that had Jack Black as the good guy and Penn as the baddie. T'was awesome until FiniBOOM awoke me with a phonecall. Bitch.
#9 at 11:22:20 - 30/01/2007
Stevas
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Tiger_Walts said:
Stevas said:A few nights ago I dreamed that the entire population of the world were all over-sized confectionary snacks. I myself was a giant mars bar.

Anyway, I was going to this do, and I eventually decided on wearing my limited edition dark chocolate wrapper.

When I got there there was another mars bar wearing the same thing.

I was mortified.

Yeah, but maybe theirs was a cheap import wrapper. Was the ingredients list in arabic, did the barcode not start with a 5?


A had a dream the other week that had Jack Black as the good guy and Penn as the baddie. T'was awesome until FiniBOOM awoke me with a phonecall. Bitch.


I dunno, I was too upset to check. I asked the fries chocolate cream I was with to take me home.

He tried it on in the cab, the cad. Thankfully, the turkish delight who was driving was having none of it, and threw him out.

He suggested we go back to his place: he had some human spread he wanted to pour on me and lick off.

I woke up at that point as it was all getting a bit strange, to be honest.
#10 at 11:26:46 - 30/01/2007
smoothpete
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Very weird ones two nights running. 2 nights ago, I can't remember exactly what was going on but I was being flown very low (but not that fast) through a city street in an F15, we were trying to make it to the Canadian border, near Niagra Falls. We arrived at a bridge where me and someone else carjacked these 2 old green mini coopers from Ant and Dec. There was more but that's all my brain can remember of it

Last night was very strange, it wasn't so much of a story dream, but I was dreaming about geometric shapes, what shape you would get if you filled a UK 3 pin plug with plaster, expanded what you got, hollowed it out and lived in it, if it would be cool. There was also a bit where I was in a cabin in what I assume was the lake district, there was a gorgeous sunset outside and I was trying to find bits of my camera to go photograph it. My brother was trying to sell me a lens that took pictures 90 degrees to the side. Then my camera had broken and was making whimpering noises. Then I was looking at what I had taken and the pictures were spooky and moving around and the idea was that they were haunted.

I think there was a bit later in a ruined cityscape by the sea, I remember lots of fire and rubble.

Um. Jeez. Sounds very odd now I've written it down.
#11 at 11:27:43 - 30/01/2007
smoothpete
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Legion said:I still keep dreaming that my teeth are falling out.

Which is crap because it still means I'm scared of death.


Or have money worries, so I read once. I used to have dreams like that.

I think death is a fairly acceptable thing to be afraid of mate, I wouldn't worry about that too much :)
#12 at 11:29:46 - 30/01/2007
Legion
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I dunno, in a dreams thread on EG a while back I wrote a similar post and it turned out that UncleLou had the exact same dream. It's not just general fear of death it's if you think about death and dying for too long you just become physically petrified, to the point that I can't sleep some nights... I get by by ignoring the problem. :)
#13 at 11:50:14 - 30/01/2007
peej
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Roobs said:Thanks to your Tokyo Bus Guide 2 banner, Peej, the other night I dreamt that the grumpy old bloke from On the Buses (the one on the left on the banner) was one of my bridesmaids. :o


Muhahaha well at least you'd be on time for the church.

"Get that Bride out Butler....go on, get 'er out!"

Peej
#14 at 11:53:42 - 30/01/2007
Gremmi
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Had an odd one t'other day where a huge load of people I didn't know and me visited a weird zoo, and some girl sat on a baby seal, then the seal's mother got pissed off and started chasing me, instead of the girl.

I don't know what it meant.
#15 at 11:56:15 - 30/01/2007
Legion
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You're afraid of commitment and you have unresolved issues with your father.
#16 at 12:04:36 - 30/01/2007
Tiger_Walts
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I did a search on-line about your dreams. Internet says you all have brain tumours.
#17 at 12:22:59 - 30/01/2007
Truk
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I've just remembered my dream. I was up a big massive tree that it was possible to sit on and I was fighting with NewYork. It got quite vicious. I have no idea what this means.

Perhaps it means don't stay up until 2am browing the forum.
#18 at 12:53:35 - 30/01/2007
peej
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I ought to point out that Lily Allen was an incredibly good lay.

Peej
#19 at 14:43:56 - 30/01/2007
Legion
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peej said:I ought to point out that my pillow was an incredibly good lay.

Peej

^^^Fixed

#20 at 15:05:48 - 30/01/2007
Lutzie
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Legion said:
peej said:I ought to point out that my underpants were a very messy lay

Peej

^^^Fixed


^^^ Double fixed.
#21 at 15:06:27 - 30/01/2007
peej
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Legion said:
peej said:I ought to point out that my pillow was an incredibly good lay.

Peej

^^^Fixed



That might explain why she had such a huge soft arse.

Peej
#22 at 15:08:52 - 30/01/2007
Legion
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Lutzie said:
Legion said:
peej said:I ought to point out that my underpants were a very messy lay

Peej

^^^Fixed


^^^ Double fixed.

You sleep in your underpants?!
#23 at 15:10:11 - 30/01/2007
Legion
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For that matter: You *wear* underpants?!
#24 at 15:10:27 - 30/01/2007
Lutzie
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Damn right! I get all cold otherwise.
#25 at 15:11:14 - 30/01/2007
peej
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Who was that to? Me or Lutzie? If me - no, who the hell would wear scuds in bed. Eeeerrrrgh

Peej
#26 at 15:11:35 - 30/01/2007
Lutzie
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Too many times have I rolled over maked and crushed a bollock. So they're tucked in now.
#27 at 15:12:48 - 30/01/2007
smoothpete
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I'd sleep in Lily Allen's pants, if she asked nicely ;)
#28 at 15:12:57 - 30/01/2007
Legion
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peej said:Who was that to? Me or Lutzie? If me - no, who the hell would wear scuds in bed. Eeeerrrrgh

Peej

That's the 'normal' response. Well done Peej.

A man

a) shouldn't wear y-fronts
b) even be seen wearing y-fronts by a female
c) enter his marital bed co-occupied with his concubine whilst wearing y-fronts

#29 at 15:13:24 - 30/01/2007
peej
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Pah, she could ask me as rudely as she liked.

Peej
#30 at 15:13:27 - 30/01/2007

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