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(Probably old and spam but it has its moments ;-) If Ancient Rome Had the Internet: - The destruction of Pompeii in 79 A.D. is the most viewed video at YouTube. The first comment is..."OMG so cool! Volcanos ROCK!" - Attila the Hun has his own MySpace page. Nobody ever rejects his "invite a friend" emails. - The soothsayer's "Ides of March" email fails to get Caesar's proper attention as it's inadvertently filtered into his junk folder. - But at least Caesar's "Et tu Brute?" comment is available as a free ringtone download. - The domain gladiator.rome sells for the record sum of 1,000,000 denarii. - The owner of hadriansucks.rome is compelled to hand over both the domain name and selected body parts by an independent domain tribunal chaired by...Emperor Hadrian. - "Naked Cleopatra" is the top search term on Google. - Unfortunately, the Queen of Egypt dies an early death after misunderstanding IT's call to embrace an ASP solution. - Hannibal blogs his way across the Alps with posts like, "Whoops, lost another elephant today." - But he runs out of money when his PPC budget is plundered by an Iberian click scam organized by Publius Cornelius Scipio. - Tiber.com opens, initially selling scrolls and tablets before expanding to include togas, pottery, and do-it-yourself mosaic kits. - Websites like handsome-literate-male-british-slave.com pollute the search listings thanks to generous commissions at the slaves.co.romeaffiliate program. - Roman programmers moan about projects outsourced to cheap coders in Mesopotamia. - The Colosseum is renamed the eBay Colosseum, with free wireless hotspots outside the lark's tongue restaurant. - The volume of spam collapses when the penalty for not providing a working opt-out mechanism becomes equal billing with the lions at the eBay Colosseum. - But we still get emails featuring Brunhilda, the lonely Visigoth,and hot deals on cheap peacock livers from Gaul. - Nobody invents a spam filter good enough for the House of the Vestals. - Classical geeks wear t-shirts proclaiming, "there's no place like CXXVII.0.0.I" (my favourite) - Finally, Rome burns to the ground while Emperor Nero battles online with Hakkar the Soulflayer in World of Warcraft. |
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