Gaming Room 101

Chuck stuff in here, you'll feel better:

Saints Row 2 and all the chavs who keep "bigging it up".

Fable 2, and Peter Molyneux (if his head will fit inside).

ICO and Shadow of the Colossus. They're not "gaming masterpieces", they're shit.

Halo
Call of Duty
Doom
Quake
Gears of War

Any other unimaginative FPS that relies on stupid weapons and an even stupider storyline.

Every Need For Speed game after the first one.

GTA IV does not have a great story. Stop praising it for something it doesn't have.

Eeesh definitely not saying GTA IV has a great story. But Bioshock does.

Burnout Paradise, once you've got your main BO License. Or once you've loaded up the game after unlocking a few more cars. Or once you've downloaded the "fog-o-matic" patch. Or once you realised you need to buy the stupid EyeToy camera just to get your Platinum trophy.

/tracks ilmaestro from Far Cry 2 thread

Eat (replica) AK47, you cow-hearted yeasty codpiece!

FIFA.

Surely this'd work better if it was just gaming elements instead of full games?

The Tearing. That can go right the fuck in.

(Also, @Miller, why pick on FIFA? Either you're a blinkered PES fanboy (as, in all honesty, the recent FIFA's are actually pretty close to the older, better PES iterations), or you aint played a FIFA recently... or you just don't like football games full stop (in which case why not just say "Football games"?). Which one is it? Seriously, I'm not trying to pick an argument - I just can't see why else you'd put that. I realise I'm coming across as a FIFA fanboy a bit, but, well... that's not the case. I'm more embittered about how PES turned out than any sort of fan of EA's franchise, and actually have some pretty major gripes with both titles.)

Of course, I just realised I WAS looking for an argument, as the only logical route I've left you to take if you merely prefer PES is that of a "blinkered" PES fanboy. Fuck it. Get the fuck. That's right, I called you ignocunt! How do you like that? Bring it on! Yeah! Gimme your fucking best, dammit! COME ON, I CAN TAKE WHATEVER SHIT YOU WANT TO - oh, wait, home time. I'll argue with you tomorrow, yeah?

Football games

Unfinished, bug ridden games.

Rise Of The Robots, and its poxy Brian May soundtrack.

Turn based random RPG battles.

Actually, all RPGs (apart from Fable).

'Do you want to save? Yes/No'
Yes I do.

'Are you sure you want to save? Yes/No'
I've just said yes.

'If you save it will overwrite your previous save game data. Yes/No'
Yes I know that.

'Please confirm you wish to overwrite your previous save game data. Yes/No'
Gah, just save the fecking thing.

'Save game? Yes/No'
Actually, come to think of it, I don't think I will.

I tried throwing it in the bin, but it crash mid-flight and it's just sitting there, frozen in mid-air.

I'm going to put adventure games that are not point and click, not comical, and not 2D. 2D, P&C with humour *IS* Adventure games.

i have to say that my personal room 101 would have turn-based and RTS games in it. Try as I might, my brain just isn't wired to be good at them.

It's even worse when you accidentally click 'no' on the last stage!

Dead rising, a fantastic idea ruined by endless shitty boss fights.

Fifa, for the shittiest multiplayer, year after year.

Any game whose main menu defaults to 'new game' rather than 'load game' (and then proceeds to ask you to select a storage device).

You what?!?!?!

heh, perhaps i should have specified its directed at the lack of online co-op vs CPU, despite it being hinted at every year.

Trophies, achievements, open beta keys

Secrets or items that you need a guide to work out as there's no feedback and the path to it is so obscure you'd *never* work it out yourself.

Zodiac Spear, boabg and i are looking at you.

In-game mobile phones.

I think this comic illustrates quiet nicely why.

Games on mobile phones.

For your point you could have just said "Otis. Dead Rising." too and we'd know what you were on about :)

Rock-hard platformers. Okay, basically anything made by Treasure that isn't a shooter*. I keep buying the damn things even though I know full well I will be shit at them and won't ever get past the first level boss.

* I'm excepting Guardian and Gunstar Heroes from this for now given I've not played them yet.

Football games in general, but FIFA is more succint.

I'll change it to all football games before you have a coronary ;)