The AATG Non-Parents Club (no parents allowed)


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NewYork
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Think you can have your elitist daddy-club fun, to the exclusion of others? Well so can I. Except without the "daddy" bit.

Yes, I'm aware the thread title is vaguely paedophilic. So no children allowed, either.


Discussion topics:

1. What do you suppose they do all day in that mysterious parenting thread?

2. Tips for non-parents (how to not change nappies, best baby food to avoid buying, your favourite non-family friendly restaurants, etc.)

3. How lame parents (except your own parents) are.
#1 at 21:57:55 - 22/01/2010
Micro_Explosion
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Why can't people who kidnap children and keep them in a cupboard use this thread?

A fascist. You are a fascist.
#2 at 02:23:22 - 23/01/2010
LarryBong
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As a 40 year old man who has been with his girlfriend for 15 years but has no children (and no plans for offspring) I think I qualify for this group.

Re: your points of discussion:

1. If my friends with children are anything to go by I would think they discuss baby's faeces in graphic and nauseating detail, how getting into a specific nursery/school is the most difficult task in human existence and why they should be paid more money by non-breeders through taxation for their lifestyle choice.

2. The best tip for most of these would be to just not have children or offer to help with the offspring of others. I find that an intense look of disgust when friends or family try to persuade me that I wish to change their children's nappies usually works. Re non-family friendly restaurants, I don't think they exist anymore unless you want to go to overpriced trendy michelin starred places (and even those are not entirely child free)

3. I think most parents are fine but do get amused/irritated/annoyed depending on mood by their badly concealed sympathy or shock that I do not wish to join their ranks.

DISCLAIMER: A huge ;) attached to all my remarks. I actually quite like children (in small doses) and take my hat off to those who wish to go through all the effort and hard work of creating and raising them. Just not for me.
#3 at 18:51:45 - 23/01/2010
Furbs
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Is there a more disgusting, shocking and repulsive sight than a parent eating the drool-dripping food that their baby doesnt want?

ITS BEEN SUCKING ON THAT WOTSIT FOR 5 MINUTES! DONT PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH!!
#4 at 20:53:54 - 23/01/2010
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That is disgusting. Watching them feed a young kid that can't get their food into their mouth while you're trying to eat isn't much better.

I like to think that if I had kids they would be perfect and I could train them to cause all the trouble in public places that I can't get away with but they could because of their 'cuteness'.
#5 at 23:13:26 - 23/01/2010
NewYork
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Part of the cuteness of trouble kids is that I'm not the one who then has to deal with it 24/7. Phew.

Speaking of sickening, there's this whole issue of snot removal. Now, it's not a myth because I've googled it extensively, and I know certain parents will suck the snot out of their baby's nostril directly with their mouths. Or dignify the process with an intermediary straw device. Eeeeew. Indeed, baby snot in general - babies will just yet that stuff run right into their mouths till they end up with a shiny Hitler moustache. Not cute.
#6 at 23:27:46 - 23/01/2010
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NewYork said: and I know certain parents will suck the snot out of their baby's nostril directly with their mouths.


:/

That's wrong in every possible way.
#7 at 00:01:41 - 24/01/2010
strangeed
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I now feel slightly queasy. I've seen it happen as well. I suppose it is a quick fix solution when the kid doesn't yet know how to blow into a tissue. Still...
#8 at 09:53:16 - 25/01/2010
NewYork
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This is topping Digg.com at the moment:

6 Shockingly evil things babies are capable of.

I thought it was going to be stuff like projectile pooing, etc., but this is creepy.

6. Lying
5. Prejudice
4. Defiance
3. Getting high
2. Stealing
1. Murder


Scary.
#9 at 16:59:35 - 09/02/2010
HairyArse
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Not sure how I missed this thread.

I think parents spend all day secretly wishing they'd never had kids so they could stay in bed all day with man-flu playing Modern Warfare 2 like I've been doing all day.
#10 at 17:27:42 - 09/02/2010
billdoor
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HairyArse said:Not sure how I missed this thread.

I think parents spend all day secretly wishing they'd never had kids so they could stay in bed all day with man-flu playing Modern Warfare 2 like I've been doing all day.


^ this. combined with secretly wishing we were single and could spend the evenings loafing around in squalor.
#11 at 17:39:53 - 09/02/2010
peej
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Speak for yourself! Wouldn't change a thing :)

Ah, non parents club. C'mon Bill, time to make a run for it before we get lynched
#12 at 17:58:31 - 09/02/2010
Spin Dr Wolf
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/strategically places pans of hot water with the handle over the side by all entrances to thread
#13 at 12:49:26 - 11/02/2010
billdoor
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peej said:Speak for yourself! Wouldn't change a thing :)

Ah, non parents club. C'mon Bill, time to make a run for it before we get lynched

I wouldn't but I do wonder how the parallel universe me is getting on :)
#14 at 09:58:09 - 12/02/2010
NewYork
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Saw a kid having a tantrum today in the cafeteria where I eat. He was lying flat on the floor right where everyone had to step around, or over him. The parents were quite rightly getting highly embarrassed.

Mind you, nobody seemed to mind, and I found it quite amusing, but then it isn't my kid.

Point being: thank god that wasn't my kid.

Point being: parents, LOL
#15 at 18:28:54 - 14/03/2011

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