Dante's Inferno


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repairmanjack
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Right, fuck this game. Played to the Greed "level". Am now trying to negotiate a platforming section that requires split second timing and a level of precicion that the sloppy cunts who programmed this have turned into a game of chance.

I have no problem with them wiping their arses on whatever original manuscript they can find, but the game hates the player, has some dire checkpoints and every fucking enemy requires so many hits that tactics vanish and whaling on the buttons *may* get you through. It's dreck and gets worse the deeper in you go.

No, I do not think this is an allegorical design decision, neither am I playing the game "wrong".

It's just fucking rubbish.

Caveat emptor.

5/10
#1 at 03:38:17 - 06/02/2010
Rhythm
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What, it's an unplayable mess? Wow, so it really is like God of War then!
#2 at 11:21:20 - 06/02/2010
FlexibleFeline
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Hmm. I enjoyed the demo and was gonna pic this up. Looking less likely now.
#3 at 17:08:38 - 06/02/2010
repairmanjack
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Right. Put it on again... to find the shithouse checkpointing system had sent me way back to something that I'd struggled like all hell to get past the first fifteen fucking times I'd tried it.

Almost snapped the disc... but took a deep breath, tried again. Couldn't do it, so (and I'm disgusted with myself for doing it) I dropped the difficulty down to easy.

You know what? Removes any challenge at all. One button. Walk through it. Blindfolded. Enemies that had taken thirty hits now take about five. I seem to take no damage, even when hit... and it broadens the timing window of jumps, etc.

I can either be bored shitless or tear my hair out?! That's your idea of graduated difficulty?

Just one more thing that went wrong. The design decisions on this beggar fucking belief.
#4 at 18:45:32 - 06/02/2010
Micro_Explosion
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I thought that this being such a blatant copy of God of War, at least in the mechanics and attempts to have a story on a similar scale, I would enjoy it just as much. The demo managed to put me off - it's too much of a rip off of it and it feels more like a 3rd party mod to the game - cheap and cynical.

I hated the artistic design; it felt lazy and obvious. Previews and reviews have done nothing to convince me that the full game gets any better.

I am surprised that the difficulty sounds so broken; I would've thought that just about any game these days would be able to sort the scaling between levels sensibly.
#5 at 01:26:23 - 07/02/2010
repairmanjack
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Finished it last night, with a maxed out Holy tree. And on easy.

For reasons not quite clear to me, I stuck on the New Game+ and started putting some points into the Unholy upgrades.

You know what? They're the fun ones. That's where the combat takes off. Sure, the game is still a dog egg, but if you shove it on easy (until you're powered up properly) and whale away on the right upgrades, it almost becomes... ok.

Plowed into the Gates of Hell (Horde mode - or whatever God of War's equivalent was called), and blasted through all fifty waves in half an hour.

Seen a few pals on my FL playing this. All seem to say the same thing: "Fuck me, this is dull."
#6 at 15:40:51 - 07/02/2010
peej
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Quelle surprise, another game that punishes you for being a bastard.

Played and finished - and you know what? The platforming criticisms are spot on - and there's way too many of them in the game to show that Visceral even know how to do decent level design. It all smacks of stuff just being haphazardly stuck together.

Know what else is wrong with the game? The main guy himself...now skip the next bit if you don't want spoilers but...

SPOILERS

Fuck Dante! The bloke promises his girl that he's going to be faithful, then porks some piece of skanky slavegirl while off on a jolly holy war. Her brother which is actually her hubby takes umbrage and somehow manages to travel all the way to Italy to murder Dante's father and wife in revenge. From there we're expected to somehow sympathise with Dante's quest to get Beatrice back, despite the fucker being in the wrong!

THEN he unleashes Satan at the end of the game, and somehow gets a pat on the back for putting him back in bonds...which he let him out of in the first place!


Lastly, and this is a real sticking point for me - we're supposed to believe that the upcoming "Trials of St Lucia" DLC wasn't actually planned to go in the original game, but we're given some cheap-ass co-op modes, battle arenas and a (woo) Battle designer for (probably) 800 points, when it should've been in the game for nought - particularly considering the game's going to sell terribly and no one will give a rat's arse about the DLC.

Visually there are some sumptuous moments in DI, ruined by some really crappy character designs (including Dante himself) and not nearly enough twisted mind-bending darkness nor visions of hell eternal. Put it this way, all of the Scarecrow bits in Batman: Arkham Asylum were more terrifyingly twisted than anything in DI.
#7 at 08:59:11 - 08/02/2010
strangeed
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This just went from interested but not at full price to: no, you have to pay me to play this.
#8 at 11:01:33 - 08/02/2010

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